Lucky? Lucky is not this reality.

Lucky.
You are lucky.

Lucky.
You are so lucky.

Is lucky the way to describe this reality?
Is lucky really the word at hand?

Maybe.
Sometime.
Sometime, in the past.
Or
In someone else’s reality
lucky might have been the word to describe these present moments.  

But,
for me,
for this
for this reality,
this very existence,
lucky is not the word.

This.
This very existence.
Cannot be defined by one word.

It is a culmination
of
life events translating into
experiences.
Reflections.
Moments.
Growth.
Understandings.
All making up a multitude of words.
Words specifically destined for those very breaths in which they came about.

This experience,
it is beautifully magnificent.
Divinely unique.
Expressively challenging.
Truly transformative.
Blessedly constructive.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

This reality has been constructed by breaths upon breaths of
Creation.
Development.
Connection.
Outward expression.
Internal reflection.
Daily gratitude.
Openness.
Trust.
Understanding.
Flexibility.
Adaption.
Letting go.
Engaging.
Planning.
Falling.
Lifting.
Missing.
Wanting.
Working.
Oh,
and so much more.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

This reality,
this reality that is constructed by breaths upon breaths
embraces that which is present.

The environment.
The people.
The contrasting bright colors that line the streets of my neighborhood.
The new flowers that bloom right in front of my house appearing more magenta and yellow 
than I thought the color scale reflected.
The bond and connection between mothers and their children 
as they carry them around everywhere due to the inconvenience of strollers on the public transportation system 
and the expense involved in this very piece of plastic.
The music that plays loudly out of a passengers phone on long bus rides to the nearest beach.
The moments when someone hears my accent and will only speak English to me
 even though I am speaking clear and accurate Spanish.
The times when my students see me get on the bus after a 4-hour class and stand up,
just to give me their seat.
Or the times when I’m standing on a bus so crowded that its hard to take a deep breathe 
and I have a skateboard in one hand, 
a backpack in the other and not any hands left to hold myself in place 
as the bus moves in route back to the destination at hand 
and an old man grabs my skateboard to relieve the stress of not being able to hold on.
And moments later I look down to see him calmly spinning the wheels of my board 
as he contently stares out the widow.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

The moments where I start my class at 7am with one of my favorite students and show her a video about a man helping out his community, doing extraordinary work, enabling a young girl to go to school and she starts crying from the overwhelming sensations and immediate need to help her very own community.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

To me,
these moments,
these are filled with positive intention,
deliberate connection.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

The time when my student stopped me after class to say teacher, 
“Are you okay? How is life going for you? What do you like about Costa Rica? Do you miss your boyfriend?” 
And the questions continued and continued because during class time, 
during our hours, 
my voice is present, but only to evoke that of theirs to reveal their life stories. 
And after class, well, that’s the time I can talk about life, about my life.

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

Maybe the moments when I get picked up at 3:30am 
by a random taxi driver to be driven to the bus stop for my first and solo border run 
and that very cab ride was one of my favorite parts of the trip 
simply because he talked to me very slowly in Spanish 
so I could easily understand and therefore a conversation was made.

Does the luck continue?
Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

How about the time when I was skating down the main street, Paseo Colon at 6:45am 
to make it to my first class and hit a bump in the road and went flying down the road, on my chin. 
I was in one direction. 
My skateboard in another.
 My backpack flew over my head. 
And the young men doing the morning deliveries came running over, 
lifting me off the ground and assuring over and over again that I was okay.

Is that luck?
Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

Or what about the time, where my student drove me home, 
out of her way so I didn’t have to take the bus in the pouring rain.
Or the time I had to have my first in person meeting with my student after a month of online classes 
and she not only invited me to have class at her house, but then cooked me breakfast, 
made a fresh pot of coffee and gave me coffee and a mango to go.
Or the moment when I were trapped in Nicaragua without any money 
because I didn’t call my new Costa Rican bank account 
to let them know I was going to be out of town for the weekend 
and the woman I live with sent me money so I could eat and get back home. 

Or the time where I missed my boyfriend so much on a national holiday 
that my boss and I had a wine and banana bread baking evening filled with so much love and laughter.
And the time where one of my new roommates was leaving 
so 3 of us went on a night trip down the pacific coast and laughed so hard all weekend that our stomachs we sore.
Or how about the first time I was walking home really late at night
 and the neighborhood security followed me the whole way home just to make sure I got into my door.

Is that luck?
Do you call that lucky?

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

How about the moments when I spend hours upon hours upon hours planning for lessons throughout the week 
and are so exhausted that I feel as if I cannot even teach those lessons.
And well I do.
I teach those lessons and at the end of the lesson my students look at me and says, 
“Teacher, that was such an amazing, dynamic class. Thank you so much. I learned so much today.”
Or the time I gave my students a homework assignment 
to write a letter to a person in a photo on my website and they did so, so incredibly well. 
And then I put my student in contact with the person in the photo and they become pen pals and now, 
they get to share their lives with each other.
Or the moment my student did his final presentation on pencil day,
 to simply enjoy the little things in life to later find out that his mother is dying in his house of cancer.

Is that luck?
Do you call that lucky?

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

Or the moments when all I want is a hug and to have my mother rub my back 
while I fall asleep 
or to hold my boyfriends hand 
or to laugh in person with my friends. 
And reality strikes and that exact thing cannot happen 
but at that moment my mom, boyfriend or friends send me a message 
or a voice note simply to say they love me and are thinking of me.  
Or the moments when I take a weekend trip to the Caribbean side of the country 
just to see what its like and have all booked, but the girl I meet on the bus, has nothing. 
And I wait to go to my hostel and walk around town making sure she has a place to rest her head.

What do you think?
Is that luck?
Do you call that lucky?

Lucky?
Lucky is not this reality.

To me,
these moments are not lucky.
Lucky is not the way to describe this reality.
These moments are a reflection of my thoughts.
A reflection of the energy that is put out into this world and received.  
It’s the power of truly walking my walk,
Dancing my dance.
Singing my song.  
Speaking my truth. 

What you put out into this world
is reflected
and reflected
and reflected back
breath
and
breath again.

You create these realities.
You create these moments.
These experiences.
These reflections.
This growth.
These understandings.
These moments are reflections
of the internal connecting with the external.  

Lucky to me,
miscommunicates the culmination of these very realities.  

To me,
creation
development
connection
outward expression
internal reflection
daily gratitude
openness
trust
understanding
flexibility
adaption
letting go
engaging
planning
falling
lifting
missing
wanting
working
communicates these realities.

The moments above are those are immediate reflection when my fingers hit the keyboard of my time here 
in Costa Rica. Each day I am more thankful than the last that I call these moments my realities. 
I am ever grateful. Ever grateful.